Circa 1955
Overhead shot of a public bus, stopping and picking up passengers. The shot cuts to bus interior, as a voice comes through the speakers and explains to the passengers that they’re on a television network morality bus, designed to bring people closer to sensitive moral issues and announces that the passengers are on their way to “Meet the Dead”.
Shots of horrified expressions and confusion from passengers fill the frame. An animated cartoon appears over a long shot of the bus, showing a man knocking on an upright casket door and shaking hands with a skeleton.
Announcer V.O introduces the host of the program who gives a detailed explanation and purpose of show and reveals the identity of the lucky dead person of the week.
At this point the passengers begin to get hysterical and are quieted down by two leather clad assistants who crack bullwhips, as the bus arrives at its destination.
A shot of a middle-class suburban house, as announcer V.O describes model and value of the house. Host and terrified passengers go into the house and enter the living room, where they find a man slumped over on a couch.
The man’s wife, who is sitting next to him, invites the host and passengers into the living room. They form a moving receiving line and introduce themselves to the dead person.
The shot dissolves as in time lapse and the host introduces the last passenger as the dead man’s best friend. The friend tells of embarrassing moments the two of them have shared.
The dead man’s wife who starts to serve coffee and cake interrupts them both. The host is impressed with the cake and asks for the recipe and a pen to write it down.
The wife remembers that there’s a pen in her late husband’s jacket. They reach into the inside pocket and begin to pull out objects such as a gold watch and a large stack of money.
At the same time, the other passengers begin to lose their inhibitions (something in the cake?), as several of them begin to pick up objects from the room and stash them on their person. At this time the host pauses for a commercial break.
The scene returns to the living room, which is now set up as an auction in full swing. The passengers are now dressed in dead person’s clothing, fondling his golf clubs, keys to his car and other personal effects.
The host rips the suit off the dead man and attempts to sell it to the passengers, who are more interested in the objects already purchased. The host attempts to eulogize the dead man, but ends up attacking his character and insulting his wife. Luckily, the show runs out of time and as he makes closing remarks, the animated cartoon appears showing cartoon man slamming the door of the casket on the skeleton’s arm.
Characters
Host: A pleasant looking man in his late thirties or early forties. On the surface he appears to be genial and good-natured, but he’s always giving false smiles. A cynical small-time comedian, he’s worked small, seedy clubs for 20 years before being offered the position of host. He’s constantly making off color remarks.
Dead Man’s Wife: A middle-aged woman who takes her husband’s condition like an everyday occurrence. She’s determined to make a good impression on the television staff, but becomes self-conscious every time she appears on camera.
Dead Man’s Best Friend: A middle-aged dentist, who looks like he’s just been called away from the office. He attempts to recount embarrassing stories, but starts laughing hysterically and never complete a story.
Female Assistants: Two beautiful but silent dominating young women dressed in leather and wearing execution hoods on their heads.
Extras: A middle-aged blue tinted dead man
20 bus passengers of assorted ages.
