CONCEPT:
A weekly thirty-minute variety/talk show set in a large room of a moderately priced hotel. The show features sexually oriented and offbeat comedy sketches as well as satirical reports and interviews dealing with controversial topics. The series presents occasional guest stars and gives aspiring unknown entertainers an opportunity to showcase their talents.
HOST:
The host should be an energetic and personable diverse comic actor, capable of portraying many different characters. He or she should also be an adept improviser, able to take advantage of spontaneous situations.
STUDIO MUSICIAN:
Required is an all around musician, proficient in all types of music from rock and roll and jazz to easy listening and classical.
PROGRAM EXAMPLE:
After the opening credits and appropriate theme music, the show opens with a fade in shot on the foot of a bed, where the camera tilts up to reveal the host talking on a telephone ordering drinks from room service. He sees the camera and welcomes the viewers to the program, informs them that the drinks are on their way and that the guests should be arriving any moment. He suggests to us that while we are waiting, we should watch the room’s television and see what’s on. At this moment, a pre-recorded tape appears on the screen showing the host outside on the street, questioning passersby about any regrets they might have once had about throwing away a valuable object.
The host then introduces his first guest, a talking dog who writes a syndicated column for the lovelorn. The dog (another voice off camera) answers all questions put to it in canine like responses.
HOST
Why do you feel you’re best equipped for this sort
of job? Do you consider yourself the world’s
greatest lover?
DOG
Honey, I must be doing something right, because the
last time I was involved with another dog, they had
to throw cold water on us to break it up.
Next we are greeted by a recurring character, an obese ambassador, played by the host, who delivers a lecture demonstration about the proper etiquette when dining out in foreign countries. An example of this occurs as the ambassador stands up and puts a bowl of spaghetti on the table to demonstrate proper Italian eating habits. He moves a few paces away from the table and flings his arms straight out. At this moment, romantic violins are heard in the background. He moves quickly back to the table, picking up the spaghetti and running his fingers through it.
AMBASSADOR
Bellisima, my darling, my angel, I love you so much.
He puts the spaghetti to his mouth, kisses it and begins to eat it with great passion.
Every program will have its share of bogus advertising. A product that exemplifies the personal hygiene market is “Tooth Paint”, a miraculous new scientific discovery that enables the user to paint on a glorious smile.
On each show there will be a continuous segment known as “The World’s Worst Date Contest”, in which the viewers are invited to write into the program relating the worst date they ever had. These stories will be picked at random from post cards sent in. Then the host and the musician, who will be using a point system from one to ten, will judge them. After a determined amount of shows, a winner will be chosen and invited on to the show and then awarded a trophy depicting a thumb and index finger pinching a nose.
This is followed by a look at “Sex Behind Bars”, an in depth report of the extracurricular activities of today’s bartenders. A disgruntled bartender tells us that it’s not all big tips when it comes to gratuities.
In addition, the show features an underwear specialist, who by just looking at ordinary snap-shots of ordinary people, can consistently pick out what kind of underwear they have on and what they should be wearing.
No media event is safe from the acid like barbs of the “Naked Eye”, the show’s multimedia critic. His forte is the bad film, the worse the better and each week he rips into a celluloid abomination.
One portion of the program is devoted to a spot called “Your Turn to Party”. Each week, an aspiring unknown entertainer will be selected and given an opportunity to showcase his or her talents. Occasionally, a ringer will be inserted this segment, allowing the host to pull them offstage with a hook.
The show will also have a number of surprises, including an assault on the studio by Tommy Tomato, leader of the Vegetable Defense League, who pleads with the viewers to “give peas a chance”.
